How often do you wonder about the differences between what we think and feel about ourselves and what other’s see? I was thinking about this while on the running trail earlier this week. I run funny somewhat like a duck, so I have been gently told. I know I have a bit (okay a lot) of a waddle and my feet kick out to the side. Today, as I started the steep and narrow sprinting portion of the hill my legs were burning and shaky and I silently thanked them [my legs] for getting me to the top one more time. The bigger reality is, according to the doctors, I am not supposed to be running at all. I was born with a genetic hip deformity and had surgery around the age of 2 years old to reposition my hips. I crawled around in a body cast for almost a year. I was very self-conscious as a child and teen and practiced to make my legs straight when I walked. I still have small steel plates in both hips, so when I was pregnant with my youngest son (24 years ago) I was told I would be in a wheel chair by my late 40’s without a double hip replacement, as this genetic deformity creates gradual bone deterioration of the hip socket. I made a decision that day to prove the doctors wrong.
So today, despite knowing what I really look like when I run, I imagine I have all the stealth, perfected form and finesse of the perfect runner. In my mind it all happens naturally and beautifully, straight legs, speed and agility. From some of the looks I get from the folks I pass, my running gait is amusing…and that is okay with me. I am grateful that my crooked little legs still allow me to run a10 minute mile or less and on a more basic level hold me up and support me every day. The best part is that several times a week, in my mind, I get to be a gazelle like marathon runner with perfect form and the best legs in town.*wink*
Hugs, D
